Is once a week at 60 unusual?
Question
If a couple in their 60s
still has sex once a week,
is that unusual?
Is it considered high?
Low?
Normal?
Or is this one of those things
no one talks about honestly,
so everyone quietly assumes
they are outside the norm?
At some point,
does frequency stop mattering?
Or do we just
stop asking out loud?
Ossan’s answer
An ossan learns
that frequency
is one of the most misleading metrics
in relationships.
Because frequency
pretends that context doesn’t exist.
Health changes.
Energy changes.
Stress changes.
Emotional distance changes.
Emotional closeness changes.
And yet people still ask,
“Is this number normal?”
An ossan notices something.
Most couples
are not struggling with frequency.
They are struggling
with comparison.
Comparison to younger selves.
Comparison to friends.
Comparison to what media suggests
is “healthy.”
But relationships are not statistics.
They are ecosystems.
What matters is rarely
how often something happens.
What matters is:
Does it feel forced?
Does it feel avoided?
Does it feel natural
for who you both are now?
For some couples,
once a week is a lot.
For others,
it’s simply rhythm.
An ossan becomes less interested
in averages
and more interested
in alignment.
→ Members’ notes: Frequency